Pet Rules, from my friend Tom

Tidbit — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 14:50:21 +0100

Hi everyone. My friend Tom sent me these rules (Tom is a human) and these rules are going around the internet (again for like the 20th time). I thought they were cute, so I decided to copy them here. Tom says they are to be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height. And, he says they have been around a while, so I hope this doesn't bore you.

From Humans to Dogs and Cats,

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.

Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.

Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less

2. Don't ask for money all the time

3 Are easier to train

4. Usually come when called

5. Never drive your car

6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends

7. Don't smoke or drink

8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions

9. Don't wear your clothes

10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and

11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

/S/
The Humans

(Ok, the last one kinda gets to me, 'cause I really don't want my pups, if I could ever have any, to be sold per se, but I see the humor in it. We are pretty cool compared to some kids what can be a pain. Of course, some of my doggie friends can be a pain too, but overall we strive to please and are very thankful and have no problem showing love in return! I'm glad people support us!)

Pocket Beagle

Tidbit — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:18:57 +0100

People ohhh and ahhhh over me all the time! They think I'm especially cute because I am like a miniature beagle. I tell them to read about pocket beagles and then realize that it may be a health issue. So far, I've been fine. I can tell you, though, that when I read Bucky's blog yesterday, I about fell off of the deck when I saw this picture!

Words cannot express my thoughts! (The rabbit's feet do look pretty weird, don't they?!)

Tidbit's Blog

Pet Rules, from my friend Tom

Pocket Beagle